The MxU Podcast

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What I neglected most not my systems,
not the gear,

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not my volunteers,
I neglected me, did not focus on me,

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If you are not providing for your
for your family,

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your children, then everything else
you're doing in the church is in vain.

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Here we are again
talking about me neglecting

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all the things that actually matter,
that all my ministry flows out of.

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But something for me to death,
but something that is very heavy

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on my heart because I live through
a horrible season of life, because I

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neglected these things.

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I hope this episode

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helps

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people.

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And it's not necessarily a.

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It's a great start.

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I hope it helps people. Me too.

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Well, because, you know,

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we've always talked about a million times
on this on this podcast.

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Like,
if we're not, if you and I can be cynical

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at times, mainly you,
we can poke fun of things,

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you know, we, you know,
but at the end of the day, we've, we've

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we've said it a million times,
if we're not adding

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value, there's
no point of shooting these podcasts. Yeah.

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Or at least just our hearts.

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So as you're signing on
to listen to this episode,

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thankfully you're here,
but we are going to talk about something

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that is not necessarily gear or not
necessarily,

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production tech stuff.

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Oh, here we go.

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But something for me to death,
but something that is very heavy

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on my heart because I live through
a horrible season of life, because I

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neglected these things.

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When this

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episode drops, we are heading into the,

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some would say, busiest time of church
work.

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Fall or fall into Christmas.

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Okay, back to school fall events.

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Student ministries are kicking back up
attendance spikes in every area,

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giving spikes, group
attendance spikes a lot of momentum.

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A lot of our leaders are super fired up.

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Often what we see when our leaders are
super fired up is more

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they got to go here, we got to do this.

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We need to launch this event, this men's
conference, this women's conference.

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We have a ton of what momentum.

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That's great.

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We pray for momentum.

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We should always pray for momentum.

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When momentum strikes.

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You gotta run
that wave as long as you can.

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But in that wave,

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it can be
some trying to be taught all together.

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Here, there's going to be some strong
currents that can tire you out quickly.

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Right. And so

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I neglected time and time again
once I hit my late

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30s, mid 30s
and I'm sorry, mid 20s into my early 30s.

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What I neglected most was not

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my systems, was not the gear, was not

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my volunteers,
was not the mission of eyes of my church.

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I didn't get any of those things.

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I neglected me, I did not focus on me,
but that my back up to your face.

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No, I'm.

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I was enjoying this
because I was setting it back up.

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You're trying to prove a point right now.
No I'm not.

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I you watching?

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If you're not watching.

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I keep slapping his microphone
over back to his mouth.

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No, you could literally do this
one on your own.

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You have all the experience.

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I don't need to be here.

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I'm not going to do it on my own. Okay?

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Because I want you a part of this.

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I. I neglected myself,
my personal health, my family, my wife,

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my personal finances, everything in me
I neglected.

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Yeah. And.

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Okay, I'm being I'm

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being a little cheeky, but.

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There's a real part.

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I'm just like, really?

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We're going to talk about this again.

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Like.

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And we need to and we will.

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But if you're listening to this, you're
probably thinking the same thing.

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Like, really?

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Here we are again
talking about me neglecting all the things

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that actually matter,

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that all my ministry flows out of.

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Right spiritual health, home, home life,

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my marriage,
my relationship with my kids.

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We really got to talk about like

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some of that.

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Can we just go back to the other stuff?

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So yeah, and I like this is when I know

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when I start feeling
tired of it, you know, that's when things.

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Become evident to me.

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And yeah, this I, I almost I,

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it seems like we need like
once a quarter like, hey just so you know,

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this is going to be the podcast
where we remind you

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because we know that ministry is seasonal.

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So like like you just said,
it's like we're headed into a busy season.

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There's many people listening
and they're like,

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I wish I would have known that.

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It's like, well, you should. Yeah.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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You should have planned and, and
and we know off a calendar a year.

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Calendar. We know we've said this before.

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We know Christmas is not in June.

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It's in December.

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Yeah, we know Thanksgiving is in November.

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We know we know that fall

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festivals are typically around October.

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We know Valentine's Day is in February.

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Like we're not
the church has not made these things up.

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So we can know how to align a calendar
with sermon series and events

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and planning.

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What we would suggest on this podcast,
like we have done before, is

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how do we align our personal health
with the yearly calendar?

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Me as an example, it's I'm currently
getting ready

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to go into a busy event season.

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So I am right now trying to very much
so focus on my personal health.

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So I'm trying to be in the gym every day.

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Right now
we are an early morning podcast today, so

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my mind automatically goes to,
how do I get back in the gym today?

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Because typically
I go to the gym in the morning.

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So how do I how do I know
to stay true to my priorities?

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Because in two weeks,

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gym is not going to be an option for me
with this exam call time.

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I ain't gonna do it. Ain't gonna happen.
I'm just going to be honest with you.

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I'm not going to do over the gym
during shows.

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Also, what is my eating
and drinking intake look like right now?

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Am I?

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And and I'm not want to try to be like

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some crazy nutritional ist over here
and some nutritional.

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Yeah, that's the thing.
I think that's all.

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Nutritionist.

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Nutritionist.

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Jaden okay, first of all, we didn't. Okay.

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He didn't ask him,
I asked him, he didn't ask you, okay?

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I did, he didn't ask you.

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The one.

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Yeah. Nutritional nutritionist.

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I think it's a fair word.
I think, you know, that was like.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Anyways,
such an I don't don't don't don't.

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Please, please,
if you're listening to this,

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do not don't get off like, this is like,
do not get off this episode.

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This is very, very important.

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Okay. Here we go.

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I want to hear your thoughts on this too,

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is that Jaden wants to put his opinion in.

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Let's hear Jaden.

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What are some ways that you would know
you're going into a busy season?

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What are some ways that you would target
health,

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personal health, spiritual health?

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You can get even technical like I'm
even thinking through.

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Like, I know this may be the first time
I've heard this, which is okay.

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Body inflammation is horrendous
for your body.

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It makes what you feel
when you wake up in the morning

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and you feel like this, you feel like,
oh, here we go again.

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This is what my personal experience

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with how to do research and study on this
and go start getting help in this area.

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But I was told you feel this way
because of this.

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You're in a busy season right now
at church or ministry or life or business.

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You feel this way because of your
patterns, your health patterns.

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Let's focus on health first.

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Let's not go spiritual yet
or even at home.

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But like, what are some physical
things that we can do

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over the next 4 to 6 weeks
to make our physical health priority

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so that we feel better when we work

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in our churches?

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I'm going to also say,

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you already said it.

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I'm going to say I'm not a nutritionist
either.

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Okay?

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I don't think anybody is
anybody who claims they're they're lying.

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No, I made that word. I made up. Right.

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So no one is.

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But I will just speak from experience.

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And somebody out there
who's smarter than I may.

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Correct.

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I when it just comes to our.

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You already said,

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first of all, sleep
is like the most important thing.

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Okay,
so we're talking about health, right?

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You asked about health. Yes.
Health. Health is physical health. Yes.

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Good sleep.

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We like we

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we idolize this idea

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that like we're super
humans and worship and necessary.

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We can go a little sleep and stay up
super late and work on some music,

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some arrangement for a side hustle thing
that doesn't even matter for

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the season that we're in right now,
or we're doing some stupid project

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for a buddy that we said
we'd help them with like, no,

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get your sleep, don't stay up.

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Like, dude, the amount of
I'm gonna have to answer someday.

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And maybe that day is
these days that I'm living in now.

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But like, for all the Red bull
that I drank at midnight, like,

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for for so many years in ministry.

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Get your freaking sleep.

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Yeah,
that that would be the number one thing.

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6 to 8 hours.
Yeah. Like we could talk about.

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There's many studies out there in sleep
and, like, you can go learn more,

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but like, this is just allow
this to be an entry point.

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Go get your sleep.

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And there's just look, I'm
a dad of three young kids.

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I get it like, we all have things in life
that maybe hinder our sleep,

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figure it out.

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Like, it's just.

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It's too important.

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Okay, I'll go now.

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Okay. Go with popcorn.

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Yeah, that sounds good. Yep.

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Are you done with sleep?

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Yeah. Very,
very important caffeine intake.

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You should always mentally

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know how many milligrams of caffeine
are in your body.

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You should also know the math that if you
drink caffeine at this time of the day,

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if it takes a true eight hours
for that caffeine to flush.

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Yeah, do the simple math and know that if
you can't fall asleep at 11:00 at night.

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Yeah, it might be just simply
because you drank a Red Bull and Alan

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Celsius a ghost, you name it, at 5 p.m.

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to get through your task at church. Yeah.

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Stop following Stephen early on Instagram.

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He's a bad influence on this front.

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I love you, Steve,
and I'm a big caffeine person.

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I'm probably too much of a caffeine
person.

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Yeah, but I do.

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I do know how many milligrams in my body
and I know when I need to go to sleep.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Very practical.

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It's a good one. Last one.

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This is risky of me to say,
but I would just maybe stop eating so much

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like and be careful of,
like when you're eating.

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I think that really.

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I mean, this is a very broad statement
I'll make, but I just think we

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have a problem with overconsumption
in general in America, myself included,

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like do

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some research into like, yeah, eating
rhythms that you can get into.

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Like for me personally,
I do intermittent fasting.

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That's changed
changed my life and how I can function.

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For a lot of you out there
who are born on a budget to might help you

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like some budget constraints
that you're working within, right? You.

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We don't need to eat as much
and we don't need to eat late.

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We don't need to.

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A lot of the time

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that it's like,
oh, late load in, we'll eat like a 9 p.m.

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dinner. Well, that's going to get our
we're all messed up.

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We're not getting that goes hand in hand
with the sleep thing.

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But we've done

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you years a couple of years of MQ 75
challenge, the first 75 days of the year.

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We go through this whole framework
to, you know,

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I would just dare
say the the production worship community.

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We're not seen as like the healthiest
people.

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Right? Just no surprise.

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We're just not we we typically

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especially in the production
side of things, we stay inside.

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We're sitting down often.

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We tend to struggle with our weight.

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We tend to struggle.

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It's just what it is.

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It was called that out before.

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We're not going to allow
that to be the elephant in the room.

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Like,

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did you have the elephant in the room?

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Well.

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I mean,
because there have been any other animal,

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I mean, if a squirrel walked in the room,

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it would still be just as awkward
if an elephant in the room.

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Oh, man.

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Yeah.

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So it's we're also not saying
everything we've said so far is not.

00:13:14:07 - 00:13:16:01
There's no money involved.

00:13:16:01 - 00:13:17:13
Like it doesn't cost to get sleep.

00:13:17:13 - 00:13:19:11
Well, Dylan's going to sell his book
at the end of the session.

00:13:19:11 - 00:13:21:10
No no no no no
no, it doesn't cost to get sleep.

00:13:21:10 - 00:13:24:05
It doesn't cost to get a to eat healthier.

00:13:24:05 - 00:13:26:22
It doesn't cost a little it
I take that back.

00:13:26:22 - 00:13:27:19
I have seen it.

00:13:27:19 - 00:13:29:15
It is a little bit more expensive
to go to the grocery store

00:13:29:15 - 00:13:31:03
and buy healthier foods than it is.

00:13:31:03 - 00:13:33:19
Yeah, okay, maybe don't eat
three meals a day, but we're not fine.

00:13:33:19 - 00:13:37:02
Yeah, but what we're not suggesting is
intermittent fasting is not.

00:13:37:06 - 00:13:40:06
It doesn't cost. Yeah. It helps savings.

00:13:40:17 - 00:13:43:16
What we're saying is, you know,
watch your caffeine intake.

00:13:43:16 - 00:13:46:19
That doesn't cost money
because we realize that for us

00:13:46:19 - 00:13:50:22
at work, in churches and with our church
salaries, we're not saying go

00:13:50:22 - 00:13:54:16
to lifetime and spend $400
a month on a gym membership.

00:13:54:16 - 00:13:55:16
That's not what we're saying.

00:13:55:16 - 00:13:59:10
Yeah, this is a huge one, very practical.

00:13:59:21 - 00:14:03:23
Just going on a 15 minute
walk out in the sun with your hat off.

00:14:04:00 - 00:14:05:15
Yeah. Is massive.

00:14:05:15 - 00:14:08:04
Yeah. Like get that natural sunlight.

00:14:08:04 - 00:14:10:20
It can simply change your life
15 minutes a day.

00:14:10:20 - 00:14:11:16
Yeah. Free.

00:14:11:16 - 00:14:11:21
Yeah.

00:14:11:21 - 00:14:13:13
There's things that we can do

00:14:13:13 - 00:14:17:03
that are free, and not a lot of time
that can help our mental health

00:14:17:03 - 00:14:18:06
through busy seasons.

00:14:18:06 - 00:14:21:15
Yeah, my buddy Aaron Padilla,
he taught me that one on

00:14:21:15 - 00:14:24:06
without even saying it.
You've probably met. Oh, yeah, I love it.

00:14:24:06 - 00:14:28:08
So Aaron he's he is.

00:14:29:05 - 00:14:31:08
It's crazy to think that Aaron's like

00:14:32:12 - 00:14:33:23
I mean
he probably wouldn't like me saying this,

00:14:33:23 - 00:14:35:02
but he's kind of the old guard now.

00:14:35:02 - 00:14:37:04
Like he's an older dude.
He's been doing production.

00:14:37:04 - 00:14:39:16
I say that like he's been doing production
for a long time.

00:14:39:16 - 00:14:41:19
I mean, he like,

00:14:41:19 - 00:14:45:18
probably has spent more time sleeping on a
tour bus than in a in a bed at home.

00:14:45:18 - 00:14:49:17
And now he's out with an Wilson
leading that whole crew.

00:14:49:17 - 00:14:52:19
But when I worked in church

00:14:52:20 - 00:14:56:04
under Aaron's leadership,
this was probably ten plus years ago.

00:14:56:04 - 00:15:00:02
But Aaron would always go outside
and just like, sit there

00:15:00:02 - 00:15:05:21
like a dog in the sun for like 15 minutes,
like between services or like.

00:15:05:22 - 00:15:09:00
And I was always like, I'd go out there
and I'm like, what are you doing, bro?

00:15:09:00 - 00:15:10:03
You just sit there.

00:15:10:03 - 00:15:12:01
You'd be like, I'm just sitting.

00:15:12:01 - 00:15:14:04
And like, he never had to say anything.

00:15:14:04 - 00:15:17:23
And then, like, these days, I looked back
and I'm like, oh, he was just wise.

00:15:18:05 - 00:15:20:06
And he knew like,
oh, I need to get outside.

00:15:20:06 - 00:15:23:07
He knew if I have any sort of longevity
in this career,

00:15:23:08 - 00:15:26:04
yeah, I've got to prioritize
my health today.

00:15:26:04 - 00:15:27:10
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:27:10 - 00:15:30:14
And it's just we love to stay inside, ruin

00:15:30:14 - 00:15:33:13
our mitochondria and just, you know, it.

00:15:33:18 - 00:15:35:03
It's really easy to do

00:15:35:03 - 00:15:39:09
in our line of work
what we do in worship and tech ministry.

00:15:39:10 - 00:15:43:08
On the physical side of things,
it is very much so a mind shift mentality.

00:15:43:09 - 00:15:44:20
You have to change your mind.

00:15:44:20 - 00:15:47:11
You cannot think it's
too hard, it's too expensive.

00:15:47:11 - 00:15:54:03
I mean, I love Chick-Fil-A, I would love
to go through chick fil A and get a

00:15:55:14 - 00:15:58:17
fried chicken sandwich and a large fry.

00:15:59:02 - 00:16:02:14
Yeah, there's been seasons of life
where I've gotten fried chicken sandwich

00:16:02:14 - 00:16:05:22
and two large fries, and so helped me
if they cut me short on my ranch

00:16:05:22 - 00:16:11:03
because it causes issues at home
and I have killed all of that, no problem.

00:16:11:04 - 00:16:12:22
Eat it to death.

00:16:12:22 - 00:16:15:19
That pattern leads me to not feeling well.

00:16:15:19 - 00:16:18:12
So now what I do at chick fil A
is it's a mindset.

00:16:18:12 - 00:16:20:18
There's nothing
I would love more to do that I want.

00:16:20:18 - 00:16:21:18
I crave those foods,

00:16:21:18 - 00:16:25:14
a strong, strong addictions,
a cravings to that type of food.

00:16:25:14 - 00:16:26:19
I still have that.

00:16:26:19 - 00:16:31:14
So when I go to Chick-Fil-A,
this is very practical because I know

00:16:31:17 - 00:16:34:22
everybody listen to this, probably
the chick fil A couple times a week.

00:16:35:03 - 00:16:37:23
There are things on that menu
that are actually good for you, you know?

00:16:37:23 - 00:16:42:09
So what I do today is I get a the grilled
chicken club, I get the normal bun.

00:16:42:09 - 00:16:44:00
That's not carbon take, it's not great.

00:16:44:00 - 00:16:46:04
But I want to enjoy a couple of carbs
every now and then,

00:16:46:04 - 00:16:49:22
and then I get an eight grilled count
chicken nugget that is my meal.

00:16:49:22 - 00:16:51:19
It's high in protein, low in carbs.

00:16:51:19 - 00:16:53:15
Yeah,
I still get that cravings of chick fil A.

00:16:53:15 - 00:16:57:11
I still get that MSG bump,
you know, like you still get that.

00:16:57:11 - 00:16:59:05
There are ways it's a mindset thing.

00:16:59:05 - 00:17:00:04
That's a silly example,

00:17:00:04 - 00:17:01:10
but also a practical example.

00:17:01:10 - 00:17:03:08
And what and some other areas examples

00:17:03:08 - 00:17:05:15
that you may be thinking through right
now. That's all it is.

00:17:05:15 - 00:17:07:19
Just shift
your mind, make your health priority.

00:17:07:19 - 00:17:10:11
That's hard to do.
I know a lot of churches will.

00:17:10:11 - 00:17:13:14
The way that they keep their people around
to get things done in the time

00:17:13:14 - 00:17:16:14
that we need to get them
done, is they'll feed them. Yep.

00:17:16:22 - 00:17:19:15
Usually it's pizza. Usually it's.

00:17:19:15 - 00:17:22:08
And and that's a tricky one to navigate.

00:17:22:08 - 00:17:26:20
And if you're out there like
yeah I mean how can I turn down free food.

00:17:26:20 - 00:17:29:09
And it's in the green room
or backstage or whatnot.

00:17:29:09 - 00:17:32:15
Like I would encourage you
to have a conversation

00:17:32:15 - 00:17:34:21
with your leadership
or whoever is making those decisions.

00:17:34:21 - 00:17:38:09
If it's not you just saying like, hey, I,

00:17:39:20 - 00:17:42:02
I really struggle with

00:17:42:02 - 00:17:45:10
my eating
actually like this and having that real

00:17:45:19 - 00:17:49:02
like if I'm an alcoholic,
this is the reason we like

00:17:49:03 - 00:17:52:09
don't for some people,
there's many other reasons.

00:17:52:09 - 00:17:54:09
But like a core reason for me

00:17:54:09 - 00:17:57:22
in ministry is like the reason we're
not going to really have alcohol around

00:17:58:03 - 00:18:01:03
because like, there's people who struggle
with addiction to alcohol

00:18:01:10 - 00:18:05:12
and like, the church is a a safe
haven for the believer, right?

00:18:05:13 - 00:18:10:02
It is we we it

00:18:11:04 - 00:18:13:05
we consider like an embassy for believers.

00:18:13:05 - 00:18:15:00
In that way,

00:18:15:00 - 00:18:16:01
you need to feel safe.

00:18:16:01 - 00:18:17:18
So it's the same thing with food.

00:18:17:18 - 00:18:22:10
Hey, man, I'm like 75 pounds
overweight, 100 pounds overweight.

00:18:22:18 - 00:18:25:18
I'm. I struggle with obesity

00:18:25:18 - 00:18:28:18
and we're putting, like, pizza around.

00:18:28:18 - 00:18:30:17
Like, it's just it's killing me, man.

00:18:30:17 - 00:18:33:20
And like, yeah, I don't have control
over this area of my life.

00:18:33:20 - 00:18:36:07
Can you help a brother out? Yeah.

00:18:36:07 - 00:18:40:20
I'd rather we not have food here at all
than have this drug.

00:18:41:07 - 00:18:42:12
Yep. Backstage.

00:18:42:12 - 00:18:46:16
And have that conversation and
and not something that, like I didn't have

00:18:46:17 - 00:18:51:05
with leadership and I were to ministry
and so on and so forth. I.

00:18:54:12 - 00:18:54:23
Say what you're

00:18:54:23 - 00:18:58:12
going to say, well,
I just want to piggyback off that. So

00:19:00:00 - 00:19:03:00
here he there's nothing wrong.

00:19:03:12 - 00:19:05:16
First of all, it's
not most of the production community.

00:19:05:16 - 00:19:07:08
Most of America struggles with obesity.

00:19:07:08 - 00:19:09:20
That's that's a known fact.
Just look around you. Right.

00:19:09:20 - 00:19:12:20
But even me,
you know, I've been called skinny fat.

00:19:12:22 - 00:19:18:02
You know, I was always kind of a skinnier
individual, but I've always felt bad.

00:19:18:06 - 00:19:20:23
My body didn't show you.
Your levels were not.

00:19:20:23 - 00:19:22:16
My body didn't show you about.
Weight is showed.

00:19:22:16 - 00:19:24:15
It showed in other ways.
Like I just couldn't function.

00:19:24:15 - 00:19:26:09
I was not functioning as a human.

00:19:26:09 - 00:19:28:14
I felt so bad all the time.

00:19:28:14 - 00:19:30:06
So yeah, I've been with you
at those times.

00:19:30:06 - 00:19:31:12
You get kind of done.

00:19:31:12 - 00:19:32:06
It feels like my.

00:19:32:06 - 00:19:35:07
Yeah. Just. Yeah. So that hurts.

00:19:38:15 - 00:19:40:03
Five days in a week.

00:19:40:03 - 00:19:43:19
If three days a week,
you were staying true to your patterns

00:19:43:19 - 00:19:44:10
and you were

00:19:44:10 - 00:19:49:02
you were focusing on your personal health,
and you are going on a 15 minute walk

00:19:49:02 - 00:19:52:19
and your water intake is through the roof,
and you're focusing on daily vitamin

00:19:52:20 - 00:19:55:21
C intake,
and you're just trying to feel better.

00:19:56:21 - 00:20:00:08
That one event
that comes around at church, that one meal

00:20:00:08 - 00:20:05:17
provided by your leadership where it's
Domino's Pizza and breadsticks, eat it.

00:20:06:12 - 00:20:09:15
We're not saying be perfect
like you can't be perfect.

00:20:11:08 - 00:20:14:14
It's when you don't focus
on the other four days of the week.

00:20:14:16 - 00:20:18:02
You aren't fasting
and you are not trying to do this,

00:20:18:02 - 00:20:20:01
and you are not focusing
on what health is.

00:20:20:01 - 00:20:21:10
And then you just continue on.

00:20:21:10 - 00:20:23:00
And then when your pastor provides

00:20:23:00 - 00:20:27:03
or your supervisors provide pizza
for catering one night or one one day

00:20:27:04 - 00:20:31:00
and you partake in that, you're
just in a lifestyle issue, you know?

00:20:31:00 - 00:20:31:09
Yeah.

00:20:31:09 - 00:20:34:00
So we're not saying be perfect.

00:20:34:00 - 00:20:35:12
You can't be the one person in the room.

00:20:35:12 - 00:20:38:12
Also, that changes catering for everybody
because you can't put down the fork,

00:20:38:21 - 00:20:41:12
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00:20:41:12 - 00:20:44:21
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00:20:56:00 - 00:21:00:08
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00:21:06:08 - 00:21:07:20
Now back to the show.

00:21:07:20 - 00:21:10:01
you know. Well,
something I would say to like,

00:21:11:04 - 00:21:11:20
you know, my

00:21:11:20 - 00:21:15:23
personal testimony I can share is like,
okay, when I worked in ministry

00:21:15:23 - 00:21:19:03
in December, we would do 20 something
Christmas services.

00:21:20:04 - 00:21:23:10
The majority of my meals, breakfast,
lunch and dinner were from the church.

00:21:23:20 - 00:21:26:04
Yeah, like during that period of time.

00:21:26:04 - 00:21:29:18
And I always called
I always the the single

00:21:30:22 - 00:21:35:07
most consistent time frame in my time
in ministry that I would, I would consider

00:21:35:11 - 00:21:36:15
my wife and I had kind of called the

00:21:36:15 - 00:21:40:03
doldrums of ministry, but I would consider
quitting was in January,

00:21:40:23 - 00:21:44:11
and I don't think it was any coincidence
that it was

00:21:44:11 - 00:21:49:08
because I would gain 15 pounds,
I wouldn't get any sleep.

00:21:49:15 - 00:21:52:20
I it's like and and so I just think,

00:21:52:23 - 00:21:56:07
yeah, if you're going to have it
once a week, that's one thing.

00:21:56:07 - 00:22:00:16
But like just really be considerate of
like how often are you being fed

00:22:01:12 - 00:22:04:12
because the church isn't keep the church
isn't there just thinking like,

00:22:04:12 - 00:22:06:02
oh, we're trying to serve our people
and take care of them.

00:22:06:02 - 00:22:07:15
And we got budget for pizza.

00:22:07:15 - 00:22:10:07
But it's like if you're
if you're the one always there, you're

00:22:10:07 - 00:22:12:16
the one that's always eating that stuff.
Yeah.

00:22:12:16 - 00:22:13:12
The other thing I would say is

00:22:13:12 - 00:22:16:12
sometimes people we tell ourselves,
I certainly will tell myself,

00:22:16:17 - 00:22:19:17
oh, bro, like I've been grinding,
I deserve this.

00:22:20:06 - 00:22:23:09
Like I deserve to cheat a little bit or I,

00:22:23:22 - 00:22:27:17
I can pound that unhealthy food
because I've just been burning.

00:22:27:20 - 00:22:30:13
It's like, no, actually,
you don't deserve it.

00:22:30:13 - 00:22:31:21
You deserve so much better.

00:22:31:21 - 00:22:34:05
Yeah. You've been working so hard.

00:22:34:05 - 00:22:37:12
Get healthy food,
get something that's going to like,

00:22:37:13 - 00:22:40:14
bring nutrition and give you the energy
to make it to tomorrow.

00:22:40:15 - 00:22:40:22
Yeah.

00:22:40:22 - 00:22:44:15
And when people I have that mindset to
I deserve that, I deserve that.

00:22:44:15 - 00:22:49:00
And people often go there because it gives
them an excuse to to partake in that.

00:22:49:01 - 00:22:50:00
I deserve the dopamine.

00:22:50:00 - 00:22:52:12
But it's like, well,
you're actually punishing yourself 100%,

00:22:52:12 - 00:22:54:20
but you don't deserve anything
that's not measurable.

00:22:54:20 - 00:22:56:12
Like if you have no goal.

00:22:56:12 - 00:22:57:23
How do you know who deserved it? Yeah.

00:22:57:23 - 00:23:01:14
Like if your goal is to maintain
175 weight throughout the week.

00:23:02:11 - 00:23:04:13
Yeah, but here comes the weekend.

00:23:04:13 - 00:23:06:10
Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to let loose
from the weekend.

00:23:06:10 - 00:23:07:12
I'm going to eat.

00:23:07:12 - 00:23:08:16
You know, I'm
going to go out with my wife.

00:23:08:16 - 00:23:09:17
We're going to eat

00:23:09:17 - 00:23:13:18
a dinner that I wouldn't eat on a Monday
because that does not help my goals.

00:23:13:18 - 00:23:15:11
But I have a goal. Yeah.

00:23:15:11 - 00:23:18:23
So but but because of the goal set for me
personally,

00:23:19:03 - 00:23:21:23
it frees me up to know
that I can let loose a little bit

00:23:21:23 - 00:23:25:11
on the weekends because I know
that my goals are being hit, but I can't.

00:23:25:12 - 00:23:26:21
It doesn't make sense to me.

00:23:26:21 - 00:23:29:08
Maybe it's just me to say,
oh, I deserve something.

00:23:29:08 - 00:23:31:22
I have no idea what I'm even trying
to accomplish out here.

00:23:31:22 - 00:23:33:16
Yeah. So what?

00:23:33:16 - 00:23:35:13
So, like, what is your flu season?

00:23:35:13 - 00:23:38:10
What is your flu season?
And what I mean by that is

00:23:39:09 - 00:23:39:23
we know

00:23:39:23 - 00:23:43:18
data shows that flu season kicks up
between what time of the year.

00:23:43:19 - 00:23:45:19
It's the same time of the year.
Every time of the year.

00:23:45:19 - 00:23:48:18
It's the same time
that Halloween comes around.

00:23:48:18 - 00:23:50:19
So we have a major sugar intake.

00:23:50:19 - 00:23:54:14
It's the same season of of Thanksgiving
major sugar intake.

00:23:54:15 - 00:23:58:07
It's the same season as Christmas major
sugar intake.

00:23:58:08 - 00:24:00:13
Now all of Dylan's
conspiracies are coming out.

00:24:00:13 - 00:24:01:06
It's not conspiracy.

00:24:01:06 - 00:24:03:19
This is known facts.
Conspiracies are not known facts.

00:24:03:19 - 00:24:05:00
This is a known fact.

00:24:05:00 - 00:24:07:00
Flu season is the same time of the year
every year.

00:24:07:00 - 00:24:10:03
So what I'm saying is for church staff,

00:24:10:03 - 00:24:14:07
we have our own quote unquote flu season.

00:24:14:10 - 00:24:16:01
So if our flu season is coming down

00:24:16:01 - 00:24:19:22
the road, we know long hours,
long days, long workloads.

00:24:19:23 - 00:24:23:00
That's
where I would suggest put in these systems

00:24:23:00 - 00:24:24:08
to help your personal health,

00:24:24:08 - 00:24:26:17
avoid that sugar,
to make sure that you can function

00:24:26:17 - 00:24:28:05
and be living at the end of it.

00:24:28:05 - 00:24:29:15
So we gotta we gotta move on.

00:24:29:15 - 00:24:32:06
So spiritual can come out of that.

00:24:32:06 - 00:24:33:23
Definitely spiritual health.

00:24:33:23 - 00:24:36:03
Don't don't avoid time with God.

00:24:36:03 - 00:24:37:18
Don't avoid prayers.

00:24:37:18 - 00:24:39:00
You should uptick prayers.

00:24:39:00 - 00:24:40:16
You should uptick team huddles.

00:24:40:16 - 00:24:42:10
You should uptick daily reading.

00:24:42:10 - 00:24:44:08
You should uptick daily worship.

00:24:44:08 - 00:24:48:10
All that needs to uptick a bit busy, busy
seasons not get put on the back burner.

00:24:49:21 - 00:24:51:17
I don't know if you have any more
on the spiritual side of things.

00:24:51:17 - 00:24:56:18
So I do want to talk about family real
fast, but, I mean, I think spiritual is.

00:24:57:03 - 00:25:00:00
So I'm I'm always saying spiritual,

00:25:00:00 - 00:25:03:00
physical and mental.

00:25:03:20 - 00:25:07:02
If one is out of order,
the other the other is collapse.

00:25:07:03 - 00:25:07:23
Right? Okay.

00:25:07:23 - 00:25:10:22
So they have to happen together.

00:25:10:22 - 00:25:12:17
In harmony.

00:25:12:17 - 00:25:15:19
I, I've seen this for myself

00:25:17:17 - 00:25:19:15
time and time again,

00:25:19:15 - 00:25:22:14
and so I would I would say,

00:25:22:14 - 00:25:25:14
I mean, we could spend a lot.

00:25:26:12 - 00:25:28:14
To me, spiritual health

00:25:28:14 - 00:25:31:14
is is the thing that.

00:25:32:22 - 00:25:35:15
Can sometimes tend to be the hardest one,

00:25:35:15 - 00:25:38:15
because it is it is

00:25:39:07 - 00:25:42:07
oftentimes the most humbling one to like,

00:25:42:08 - 00:25:46:06
if you're eating good and you're healthy,
getting your sleep,

00:25:46:07 - 00:25:50:21
like all that physical stuff,
it kind of builds you up, right?

00:25:50:22 - 00:25:53:20
Like it? You're feeling better.
You're looking better.

00:25:53:20 - 00:25:57:07
You're getting recognition, likely
if you're doing it well, right?

00:25:57:23 - 00:25:58:23
Same thing with mental.

00:25:58:23 - 00:26:01:23
Like you wake up
feeling good about yourself.

00:26:02:04 - 00:26:06:03
You you you feel good, you're happy.

00:26:06:05 - 00:26:06:20
Whatever. Right?

00:26:06:20 - 00:26:09:19
All those feelings that come
with like having the

00:26:09:19 - 00:26:13:12
the positivity, positivity
that comes with with good mental health.

00:26:14:17 - 00:26:17:17
Spiritual health is often discipline,

00:26:18:06 - 00:26:18:14
right?

00:26:18:14 - 00:26:22:02
We we pursue people like to pursue

00:26:22:02 - 00:26:25:17
spiritual health when things kind of
get out of whack in life.

00:26:25:18 - 00:26:27:03
We're going through hard times at home

00:26:27:03 - 00:26:30:07
when our mental health is not there,
when our physical health is not there.

00:26:30:08 - 00:26:32:14
Well, I have now is God. Yeah.

00:26:32:14 - 00:26:38:03
And so what's what's tricky is it's
this really weird cycle where like,

00:26:38:18 - 00:26:41:12
you get your spiritual health in order
and then the other things

00:26:41:12 - 00:26:45:13
tend to follow again,
and those other things catch up. Man.

00:26:45:14 - 00:26:48:05
Doing great physically.
I'm doing great mentally.

00:26:48:05 - 00:26:52:16
What starts to slip
are we start to feel less

00:26:53:16 - 00:26:56:00
like we maybe don't need the Holy Spirit
as much as we want

00:26:56:00 - 00:26:58:23
less dependent,
maybe a little less dependent.

00:26:58:23 - 00:27:00:09
In there goes the cycle.

00:27:00:09 - 00:27:02:15
Again, if you're listening,
you've probably felt that before.

00:27:02:15 - 00:27:04:04
Oh yeah, and so

00:27:05:04 - 00:27:08:11
what I have found for myself is like this.

00:27:08:11 - 00:27:12:23
The slippery slope is our spiritual
discipline.

00:27:13:17 - 00:27:16:17
It's a thing that oftentimes goes unseen,

00:27:17:07 - 00:27:19:13
right? No one's no one's wake.

00:27:19:13 - 00:27:23:08
No one's waking up with us, watching us
if we're going to pray or not watching,

00:27:23:08 - 00:27:26:07
if we're going to be in the text
or not know.

00:27:26:07 - 00:27:29:15
So yeah, I, I would say

00:27:31:14 - 00:27:34:18
your spiritual health is without a doubt
the most important.

00:27:35:04 - 00:27:37:05
It is where everything else
is going to flow from.

00:27:37:05 - 00:27:40:05
If you don't have spiritual health,
you won't feel the conviction

00:27:40:05 - 00:27:43:21
from the Holy Spirit
to not be morbidly obese.

00:27:44:02 - 00:27:46:01
Yeah, right.

00:27:46:01 - 00:27:48:08
That's not just morbidly obese.

00:27:48:08 - 00:27:50:13
And like, I just want to.

00:27:50:13 - 00:27:53:10
We're not targeting obese individuals.

00:27:53:10 - 00:27:56:10
The point is, I'm being serious.

00:27:56:11 - 00:27:58:12
But for me, like, that's a
that's a message for me

00:27:58:12 - 00:28:01:10
who is not morbidly obese.
But I'm not healthy in many other ways.

00:28:01:10 - 00:28:04:02
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I'm just using it as an example.

00:28:04:02 - 00:28:05:22
And maybe I speak to openly.

00:28:05:22 - 00:28:09:03
Frankly, I speak openly about it because
I read Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

00:28:09:03 - 00:28:11:02
And we know that this is not God's best
for us.

00:28:11:02 - 00:28:12:18
Right? It's not to.

00:28:12:18 - 00:28:16:18
I think that anybody out there that would
say, oh, it's not that it's not that bad.

00:28:16:22 - 00:28:17:20
No, it is bad.

00:28:17:20 - 00:28:19:05
It's it's not good for you.

00:28:19:05 - 00:28:22:11
Like, we've lost we've lost great friends
in this community.

00:28:22:11 - 00:28:23:09
Yeah, yeah.

00:28:23:09 - 00:28:26:03
Founder of one of the founders
of this company, Andrew Stone.

00:28:26:03 - 00:28:26:17
Yeah. Okay.

00:28:26:17 - 00:28:28:10
Like we've talked about it openly enough.

00:28:28:10 - 00:28:31:16
It's not something
we're going to tiptoe around anyways.

00:28:33:06 - 00:28:36:06
All that goes downhill for spiritual
health is not line.

00:28:36:07 - 00:28:39:12
And so I would argue

00:28:39:13 - 00:28:45:08
it is like the crucial cog in the wheel
if you've got, you know,

00:28:45:09 - 00:28:48:17
these three things moving together
and their gears, this is the biggest gear.

00:28:49:00 - 00:28:52:15
And if this thing breaks
you are just you're done for.

00:28:53:01 - 00:28:56:21
And so yeah the disciplines there

00:28:57:08 - 00:29:00:14
be in his word every single day.

00:29:01:19 - 00:29:05:08
Be in church on Sunday.

00:29:05:22 - 00:29:07:19
Don't just like be there physically.

00:29:07:19 - 00:29:09:01
Be there spiritually.

00:29:09:01 - 00:29:10:10
Yeah.

00:29:10:10 - 00:29:13:05
Prayer.

00:29:13:05 - 00:29:16:05
I mean, we all if you
if you're in the ministry, you've

00:29:16:05 - 00:29:19:05
heard these things over and over again.

00:29:19:09 - 00:29:21:07
The thing is, we just don't do them.

00:29:21:07 - 00:29:24:17
And that's on us.

00:29:24:17 - 00:29:26:07
We got to own that fix it.

00:29:26:07 - 00:29:30:12
And so yeah I think what you said
like in those seasons where we are

00:29:30:12 - 00:29:33:22
most vulnerable, think about
when the enemy wants to attack like

00:29:34:12 - 00:29:36:23
it's during flu season in the church.

00:29:36:23 - 00:29:39:00
Right. As you're referencing.

00:29:39:00 - 00:29:44:08
So what do we do
when we feel under attack.

00:29:44:18 - 00:29:47:10
Just and come and speak.

00:29:47:10 - 00:29:49:04
We bear armor.

00:29:49:04 - 00:29:51:09
We we we in war.

00:29:51:09 - 00:29:53:13
We were ready for battle.

00:29:53:13 - 00:29:56:13
And so what is our spiritual armor.

00:29:57:05 - 00:29:59:11
What a scripture tell us. Right.

00:29:59:11 - 00:30:02:09
So I just I think
I think that's something that people need

00:30:02:09 - 00:30:06:02
to have top of mind at all times.

00:30:06:05 - 00:30:08:00
But especially if we're going

00:30:08:00 - 00:30:11:00
into a season
where we know we will be under attack.

00:30:11:12 - 00:30:14:18
Okay, then, like you said,
you should be doubled out.

00:30:14:20 - 00:30:16:10
Like double dosing. Yeah.

00:30:18:03 - 00:30:18:18
Double dose.

00:30:18:18 - 00:30:23:04
And then the holy double dose
and the Holy Ghost, I don't know it.

00:30:23:05 - 00:30:24:12
Anything else?

00:30:24:12 - 00:30:27:03
I feel like you wanted to brush over that
one, and I'm like, we're not brushing.

00:30:27:03 - 00:30:29:20
Well, not necessarily want to brush over.
I know you'd be passionate about it.

00:30:29:20 - 00:30:33:06
So I was like,
before we go into family, like, you know.

00:30:33:07 - 00:30:36:07
Yeah. Talk about, you know, I'm, I'm,

00:30:36:13 - 00:30:38:20
I'm not

00:30:38:20 - 00:30:40:19
I'm really passionate
about the nutrition side of things.

00:30:40:19 - 00:30:44:23
And so here's your passionate
about the spiritual side of things.

00:30:45:00 - 00:30:47:23
You know I will tell you this too
if you need if you need help

00:30:47:23 - 00:30:50:23
on that front, I think a lot of people
are really scared to ask for help.

00:30:52:18 - 00:30:53:19
I've started doing this.

00:30:53:19 - 00:30:55:18
Just email Jeff at Get.

00:30:55:18 - 00:30:57:09
Yeah, I like that. Like, seriously.

00:30:57:09 - 00:31:00:19
Like find a spiritual father
find if you don't have that,

00:31:00:19 - 00:31:03:19
if you don't have somebody,
you can be like, hey,

00:31:03:23 - 00:31:06:18
how did you stay close with the Lord
while doing this

00:31:06:18 - 00:31:11:19
many years of production and being tired
and the list goes on.

00:31:11:19 - 00:31:13:11
Find somebody who's wise.

00:31:13:11 - 00:31:15:01
Find somebody who can hold you
accountable.

00:31:15:01 - 00:31:20:09
Find somebody who can share their
their few wins and many failures like

00:31:20:11 - 00:31:25:18
and so you can find that relatability
with them and and find courage

00:31:25:21 - 00:31:30:01
and more importantly hope that

00:31:31:05 - 00:31:32:06
there's better.

00:31:32:06 - 00:31:33:08
Yeah.

00:31:33:08 - 00:31:34:20
Better days ahead. Yeah.

00:31:34:20 - 00:31:35:03
Move on.

00:31:35:03 - 00:31:37:03
Let's let's go on. Just family.

00:31:37:03 - 00:31:39:01
You know, we don't want to.

00:31:39:01 - 00:31:40:15
If you don't have a family,
you can skip to the end.

00:31:40:15 - 00:31:41:21
Thanks for joining us today.

00:31:41:21 - 00:31:42:10
Yeah.

00:31:42:10 - 00:31:45:21
We, you know, with family, it's a big,

00:31:45:21 - 00:31:49:18
big, big deal that your kids and your wife
or just your wife

00:31:49:18 - 00:31:52:18
or just your kids,
whatever your story is,

00:31:54:02 - 00:31:56:16
or your family can mean your roommates

00:31:56:16 - 00:31:59:20
that you rely
on, you know, at in your apartment

00:31:59:20 - 00:32:03:03
that you share with, you share life with
or your, your small group, your family.

00:32:03:03 - 00:32:05:18
Like, you know, family can mean different
for many, many people.

00:32:05:18 - 00:32:08:18
My regard was my kids and my wife,
you know,

00:32:09:01 - 00:32:11:23
how do we not go through seasons

00:32:11:23 - 00:32:15:06
of just chaos and pure insanity

00:32:15:07 - 00:32:19:07
without neglecting
the ones that run to us when we get home?

00:32:19:16 - 00:32:21:10
Yeah, and we're going to talk about kids

00:32:21:10 - 00:32:23:00
and wife here,
mainly because it's personal to us.

00:32:23:00 - 00:32:25:10
And also those are the ones
unless you have,

00:32:25:10 - 00:32:27:13
you know, elderly folks that you're
taking care of or something like,

00:32:27:13 - 00:32:29:03
those are the ones that need you,

00:32:30:13 - 00:32:31:15
right?

00:32:31:15 - 00:32:33:10
If you're a lady listening to this
and you got a husband

00:32:33:10 - 00:32:36:00
like your husband needs you,
your kids need you.

00:32:36:00 - 00:32:38:23
So male, female,
we're talking about your family.

00:32:38:23 - 00:32:41:23
We're talking about
the people who need you.

00:32:42:01 - 00:32:42:11
Right?

00:32:42:11 - 00:32:46:13
Who who depend on you,
whether it's to be their provider,

00:32:46:13 - 00:32:47:15
whether it's to be their

00:32:47:15 - 00:32:51:06
their spouse, their lover,
and whether it's to be their father.

00:32:51:07 - 00:32:51:17
Right.

00:32:51:17 - 00:32:55:04
Like in the home, like we

00:32:56:04 - 00:32:58:23
that is our our first,

00:32:58:23 - 00:33:02:16
foremost
ministry is the thing that we are really

00:33:02:18 - 00:33:06:22
if we're not doing that well,
then screw everything else, right?

00:33:07:05 - 00:33:09:08
At least
that's how I interpret scripture.

00:33:09:08 - 00:33:11:09
When it when when we're instructed.

00:33:11:09 - 00:33:14:09
Like this.

00:33:14:22 - 00:33:17:22
If you are not providing for for

00:33:19:05 - 00:33:20:21
your spouse,

00:33:20:21 - 00:33:23:11
you are not providing for
your family, your children,

00:33:24:17 - 00:33:27:17
then everything else you're doing in
the church is in vain.

00:33:28:09 - 00:33:30:13
And we're not talking about
just providing financially.

00:33:30:13 - 00:33:32:11
No. Someone could say, well,
I am providing for them

00:33:32:11 - 00:33:34:00
because I'm working
1,000,000 hours a week.

00:33:34:00 - 00:33:35:23
I just
I have to do that to make this money.

00:33:35:23 - 00:33:38:03
No, no, no, that's
what we're talking about.

00:33:38:03 - 00:33:40:18
It's not even church. It's, you know,
right now I'm in the busy season.

00:33:40:18 - 00:33:42:12
I was telling you
before we started the podcast,

00:33:42:12 - 00:33:44:13
you know, I'm finding myself in my office
every night

00:33:44:13 - 00:33:48:02
between 10 and 1030 right now,
and then I go upstairs, take a shower.

00:33:48:13 - 00:33:51:10
My wife's already in bed.
TV's already off.

00:33:51:10 - 00:33:53:23
She's already under the blanket.
She's done for the night.

00:33:53:23 - 00:33:57:19
And I'm finding myself on my laptop
in bed, working until 11 1130

00:33:57:20 - 00:33:59:05
at night after a shower.

00:33:59:05 - 00:34:01:03
I'm in a very busy season of life.

00:34:01:03 - 00:34:03:04
What am I doing in that moment?

00:34:03:04 - 00:34:06:02
And so we're not just talking
about those in full time ministry, like,

00:34:06:02 - 00:34:07:17
what am I doing in that moment?

00:34:07:17 - 00:34:11:01
I am choosing these tasks
and responsibilities

00:34:11:02 - 00:34:14:14
over my wife, and that's what I'm saying.

00:34:14:14 - 00:34:18:04
I'm actively doing that
as I bring this up meaning again,

00:34:18:05 - 00:34:22:05
yet again, I'm being vulnerable
by saying I have still I still

00:34:22:09 - 00:34:24:13
struggle in these areas
because I'm very career

00:34:24:13 - 00:34:27:04
driven and I want things to be done
well, like most of our listeners.

00:34:27:04 - 00:34:30:20
And so I'm just saying
there is that balance

00:34:31:02 - 00:34:35:20
when it comes to your family and kids,
that or your wife, you kids, whatever that

00:34:35:20 - 00:34:38:20
you don't forget to make them

00:34:38:23 - 00:34:42:00
a priority in a busy season of life.

00:34:42:02 - 00:34:42:06
Yeah.

00:34:42:06 - 00:34:44:07
If you're there where you're forgetting
to make them a priority,

00:34:44:07 - 00:34:48:23
you're already like multiple steps
behind in in my opinion.

00:34:49:00 - 00:34:50:19
You know, we have many examples of this.

00:34:50:19 - 00:34:54:09
Thankfully, in our community

00:34:55:13 - 00:34:56:22
and look like

00:34:56:22 - 00:35:00:18
we all know how the story ends
when you don't when you don't follow

00:35:02:15 - 00:35:04:02
Scripture in these ways,

00:35:04:02 - 00:35:07:23
we know the story like you and your spouse
will get divorced.

00:35:08:00 - 00:35:10:12
Your kids will resent you.

00:35:10:12 - 00:35:12:09
You'll go find a new spouse.

00:35:12:09 - 00:35:14:15
They'll hate church. They'll hate
church, whatever.

00:35:14:15 - 00:35:16:18
Happy, happy, happy ever after you.

00:35:16:18 - 00:35:19:22
You got a second start
and you have all this carnage behind you.

00:35:20:07 - 00:35:21:08
So, like, go do it.

00:35:21:08 - 00:35:23:04
If that's what you
if that's what you want to do,

00:35:23:04 - 00:35:26:04
if that's your character,
if that's your integrity,

00:35:26:05 - 00:35:30:12
don't say it was like,
in the name of Jesus, it's on you.

00:35:30:20 - 00:35:33:01
You knew better. We know better, right?

00:35:33:01 - 00:35:36:17
And so I just, I,
I'm passionate about this one because

00:35:37:17 - 00:35:40:17
I've just seen it too many times
and I'm sick of it.

00:35:41:02 - 00:35:44:02
And it's not the church's fault.

00:35:44:03 - 00:35:46:02
No, it's your fault.

00:35:46:02 - 00:35:47:23
It's not. It's.

00:35:47:23 - 00:35:49:17
I've just seen the blame get past.

00:35:49:17 - 00:35:51:00
I've seen. It's just.

00:35:51:00 - 00:35:52:21
And it breaks my heart to see.

00:35:52:21 - 00:35:54:15
And we are all human.

00:35:54:15 - 00:35:57:02
We all fall
short of the glory of God. So there's no

00:35:58:03 - 00:35:58:21
better than.

00:35:58:21 - 00:36:01:20
It's like no, just you.

00:36:01:20 - 00:36:04:12
We can all do better in this area. But we.

00:36:04:12 - 00:36:09:03
But if we neglect it for long enough,
if we take this mentality of we're

00:36:09:03 - 00:36:12:03
just constantly realizing,
oh, I'm neglecting my family,

00:36:12:03 - 00:36:15:03
I'm neglecting my family
and collecting my family.

00:36:16:04 - 00:36:18:16
Pretty soon,
like the people that you're neglecting

00:36:18:16 - 00:36:20:16
are going to have enough of you.

00:36:20:16 - 00:36:23:10
Yeah,
they're going to have have had enough.

00:36:23:10 - 00:36:27:08
And and I just think
it's like a great opportunity.

00:36:27:09 - 00:36:29:23
It's literally saying like, hey, devil,
come over here.

00:36:29:23 - 00:36:32:04
Just like, go do whatever you want.

00:36:32:04 - 00:36:34:18
These people, I'm going to go over here.

00:36:34:18 - 00:36:38:08
It's like, I feel like that's what you're
doing spiritually to your family

00:36:38:10 - 00:36:42:22
when when you ultimately abandon them for,
I mean, I know people who have missed

00:36:42:22 - 00:36:46:16
their children's birth because of the work
that they have in church,

00:36:47:15 - 00:36:51:02
or they made it to the
birth and they said, hey, babe, you good?

00:36:51:02 - 00:36:53:02
I'm going to head back to church
now. Yeah, that was me.

00:36:53:02 - 00:36:56:09
Go ahead and do the next two weeks
of postpartum Most Vulnerable.

00:36:56:15 - 00:36:59:06
That was all me.
Go ahead and do that by yourself.

00:36:59:06 - 00:37:00:04
It's.

00:37:00:04 - 00:37:00:10
Yeah.

00:37:00:10 - 00:37:05:09
We, jet was born on Saturday,
and I want to say I did not go Sunday,

00:37:06:03 - 00:37:10:02
but I was tempted more than ever
to go to church on Sunday morning.

00:37:10:02 - 00:37:13:00
I know for a fact
I was. Yeah, because why wouldn't I?

00:37:13:00 - 00:37:13:18
I have work to do.

00:37:13:18 - 00:37:14:21
She's fine. Yeah.

00:37:14:21 - 00:37:17:09
You know, the baby's six, six seconds
old. Yeah.

00:37:17:09 - 00:37:18:06
It's like I'm good.

00:37:18:06 - 00:37:18:23
That was me.

00:37:18:23 - 00:37:21:23
Yeah. You know.

00:37:22:11 - 00:37:24:00
We could talk about that one so long.

00:37:24:00 - 00:37:25:13
I mean, again, I've just.

00:37:25:13 - 00:37:27:23
I still just brought up in my marriage
today.

00:37:27:23 - 00:37:30:14
It is still brought up the way
I led my wife.

00:37:30:14 - 00:37:37:00
We are still under the the consequences
of my sins from the way I led my family,

00:37:37:00 - 00:37:40:01
my wife, during that season of life,
working at that church.

00:37:40:03 - 00:37:44:18
Yeah, I and it is 100% my fault.

00:37:46:01 - 00:37:46:10
Yeah.

00:37:46:10 - 00:37:49:12
And it just man, it hurts me
like it really does

00:37:49:12 - 00:37:53:17
because I
obviously haven't always done it.

00:37:53:18 - 00:37:56:02
I'm done
it worse than I've done it better.

00:37:56:02 - 00:37:58:09
Like we're all
we're all figuring this out.

00:37:58:09 - 00:38:02:04
But it just when we have
these conversations, I cannot stop.

00:38:02:04 - 00:38:06:14
I can't help but think of all the spouses
I've talked to

00:38:06:19 - 00:38:10:08
who've ultimately been left
behind in their marriage is done.

00:38:10:18 - 00:38:13:18
And it's just, like, so painful.

00:38:16:11 - 00:38:18:00
This situation is just so painful.

00:38:18:00 - 00:38:21:00
And, and I think that I,

00:38:23:01 - 00:38:25:09
everyone's got their own story
and their own,

00:38:25:09 - 00:38:28:09
you know, I don't want to oversimplify it,
but it just

00:38:29:16 - 00:38:32:04
in this lane, it often,

00:38:32:04 - 00:38:37:14
it often is the result of ministry
taking priority over the family.

00:38:37:18 - 00:38:38:18
Our work.

00:38:38:18 - 00:38:39:22
Right.

00:38:39:22 - 00:38:43:06
Taking taking priority over the family.

00:38:45:14 - 00:38:49:12
And and that's easier because, you know,
I'm a dad of three.

00:38:49:13 - 00:38:50:12
My oldest is seven.

00:38:50:12 - 00:38:53:20
So we're in the trenches
sometimes being a dad

00:38:53:20 - 00:38:57:00
is not fun, like it's just not.

00:38:57:04 - 00:38:58:18
So I like I'll be the first to say it.

00:38:58:18 - 00:39:01:20
So yeah, of course
I always tell people like going to work

00:39:01:20 - 00:39:05:01
every day is actually like
my Olivia has the way harder job.

00:39:05:01 - 00:39:06:00
In my opinion.

00:39:06:00 - 00:39:09:15
Sometimes going to work is very easy and

00:39:11:10 - 00:39:15:14
but if you find yourself choosing
to go to work when you don't need to,

00:39:15:15 - 00:39:19:14
or being at work too much
because it is the easier option,

00:39:20:08 - 00:39:23:15
check yourself and don't
blame it on the busy season of the church.

00:39:23:15 - 00:39:25:06
You still need to have boundaries.

00:39:25:06 - 00:39:28:02
And yeah, there are going to

00:39:28:02 - 00:39:31:02
be 40 to 60 hour weeks plus.

00:39:32:12 - 00:39:35:00
And if that's the agreement
that you and your spouse made, well,

00:39:35:00 - 00:39:36:19
hopefully
you guys planned in the summertime,

00:39:36:19 - 00:39:39:05
you took an extra long trip
so you guys could, you know,

00:39:39:05 - 00:39:42:16
it's it's all of those things to
to be able to plan accordingly.

00:39:45:17 - 00:39:47:22
My blood, I'm just going to let
my blood pressure come down a little bit.

00:39:47:22 - 00:39:48:18
You can, you can.

00:39:48:18 - 00:39:49:16
I don't have anything.

00:39:49:16 - 00:39:52:10
That's all
I wanted to talk about in this one.

00:39:52:10 - 00:39:56:14
Just just as a reminder,
if you're new to this podcast,

00:39:56:14 - 00:39:59:10
then it may be the first time
you're hearing it, but it is not something

00:39:59:10 - 00:40:03:00
as long as I am on this podcast
is not something that I will not want

00:40:03:00 - 00:40:07:05
to bring up at least once
or twice a year, just to remind people

00:40:08:09 - 00:40:09:02
I've done it,

00:40:09:02 - 00:40:12:02
I lived it,
I'm still under the consequences of it.

00:40:12:02 - 00:40:13:11
We're still in conversations

00:40:13:11 - 00:40:17:01
with my wife about bad decisions
I've made as a leader in the church.

00:40:17:13 - 00:40:20:08
You know it is it right now, today,

00:40:20:08 - 00:40:23:08
as you're listening to this,
you can turn it around.

00:40:23:08 - 00:40:26:06
If if you are going, yep, that was me.

00:40:26:06 - 00:40:29:00
You can you can absolutely turn it around.

00:40:29:00 - 00:40:33:01
And by just applying

00:40:33:01 - 00:40:38:11
these simple, simple steps and practical
ideas, even to say there's an idea

00:40:38:19 - 00:40:41:21
when it comes to your physical health,
your spiritual health

00:40:42:00 - 00:40:44:15
and your mental health. Yeah.
You know. Yeah.

00:40:44:15 - 00:40:46:07
And you know, family health as well.

00:40:46:07 - 00:40:48:11
So that's good, bro.

00:40:48:11 - 00:40:49:16
Thanks for bringing it up.

00:40:49:16 - 00:40:52:16
Sorry I was resistant at the beginning.

00:40:52:20 - 00:40:55:09
Well, by looking at your
Beltline, I can tell why.

00:40:59:05 - 00:40:59:14
Dang.

00:40:59:14 - 00:41:00:23
Now I'm not going to eat lunch today.

00:41:00:23 - 00:41:03:06
Okay, well, thank you guys for listening.

00:41:03:06 - 00:41:05:18
If you want to learn more about you.

00:41:05:18 - 00:41:09:01
You can learn more about what we do
in the description below.

00:41:09:01 - 00:41:14:05
But, yeah, we were passionate
about helping churches and individuals

00:41:14:06 - 00:41:17:06
leading the church, obviously,
as to have all this discussion.

00:41:17:16 - 00:41:20:03
So yeah,
I would love to meet with you forever.

00:41:20:03 - 00:41:22:12
Thanks for joining us on this episode.

00:41:22:12 - 00:41:24:09
We'll see you next time. Cast.